mookie returns!

yes please!
Originally uploaded by li-wei.

The hunt for the perfect pug has begun anew. My friend Tyffani just got a teacup Yorkie. Leila is absolutely adorable and perfectly lap-sized.

It has inspired me to search for my Mookie once again. This little guy is the top contender at the moment. His name (right now) is Mittens, and he currently lives in Texas.

Should I save him from the South? Can I afford to? I'm so broke but look at his face!?!

oh, and things that make me happy...
* the view from Julie's office
* humming when you don't even know it
* the color cerulean
* prank calling
* velcro sneakers

*14,000 things to be happy about

So my buddy Andrew bought this book for me called "14,000 things to be happy about" which is the SWEETEST gesture, but silliest book! It's literally a list of 14,000 things that make the author happy in a stream-of-consciousness format, but that's the not the silly part. The guy lists really STUPID things (ex. airline meals - WTF?!).

However, the idea of making a list of what makes you happy (large or small) is rather inspirational, so in addition to the Highs & Lows, I think I'll add a *happy note or two.

Here goes:

* puppies
* Nip/Tuck when it's really trashy
* 100 Grand candy bars...mmmm
* gaining that extra hour of sleep for Daylight Savings Time
* DRAG QUEENS in WeHo on Halloween

I think 5's a good start.

Since Saba always wanted a llama...

adopt your own virtual pet!

back by popular demand...

Hello, strangers!

I know, I know - my much anticipated return to the blog scene has FINALLY happened. :) Well, a break from public ranting was due, so now I am ready to give you a quick update on the current state of things.

from willard to the real world...
Originally uploaded by li-wei.

Since I last wrote (whoa - in FEBRUARY? sheesh!), a lot has changed. My little brother, Alex aka "Bad Boy," became Chu #2 of the Gardenz household. That's right. My brother moved to Chicago after some unfortunate circumstances to live with the girls. It was tough at first, but we're back, he's back, and we're closer than ever now.

last ride
Originally uploaded by li-wei.

I made it to the last round of the DGA Trainee competition (top 12 of 7,000), but no dice at the end. Instead, I graduated from NU animal-style with my girls, said goodbye to all those near and dear in E-town, and moved to LA.

That's right: I'm back in Hollywood at Partizan.

my 1st video!
Originally uploaded by li-wei.

The internship that hooked me up with my first feature job is now my first real job. I work as an assistant to Michel Gondry's producer again, and it's this wonderfully advanced lesson in the incredible highs and lows of being in the biz. I've been rockin it here since July, and I've gotten to do some pretty amazing stuff so far. I worked on my first 2 music videos: Kanye West's "Heard 'Em Say" and the White Stripes' "Denial Twist," which shot in New York virtually simultaneously.

On the home front, I live in this HOT apartment with Steevo. It's a 2 BR/BA across the street from my office. We live at the start of the Hollywood Walk of Fame...consider it a motivational tool. We moved in September 15th, and it's slowly coming together...still. If you live here, you should come by. We're fun and we have a real pool!

Anyway, that's pretty much everything up to now. So, much like another favored blog of yester-year, I'll end this post with my 3 highs and lows of the day:

HIGHS
3. MICHEL'S MOVIE got accepted to SUNDANCE last night!
2. BRUNCH w/MAMA SINGH: Steevo and I have a brunch date with REL and her mom for some good grub and then "North Country". Hooray!
1. THE MAGIC CASTLE: I'm going to the Magic Castle with Nicole, my friend from work. It's this crazy castle, where you have to "know" a magician to get in (translation: VERY exclusive and I'm crashing a party!). We're getting all dolled up, so I'm uber excited.

LOWS
3. HANGOVER...nuff said.
2. Missing ANT and JESS like crazy. :(
1. It's CHRIS'S last day at work today. He's moving on to bigger and better things, but I feel like I've lost the one shoulder I could always (and did) cry on at work...

alright...back to work!

music is my boyfriend (2004)

perhaps the best iMix title I have yet to see.

Congrats to whoever made this mix. It's apparently based off of a terrible, terrible country song by The Hidden Cameras. Again, cool titles, terrible band. If you have iTunes, you should click on this entry's title -- it'll take you to the playlist itself (or should at least).

It's always interesting to dabble/see other people's taste in music. This girl - insert presumed heterosexuality stereotyping here - has some pretty good stuff. Great artists -- ex. Iron & Wine, The Killers, Devendra (yeah!), Ben Lee, Elvis Costello, David Byrne, Sixpence None The Richer (haha) -- but absolutely TERRiBLE selections by all of the aforementioned. What the hell was this girl thinking?

Clearly, she's sad and alone and making iMixes, but still - she should have better since than to put Bjork next to William Shatner, Kanye West's "Jesus Walks" next to the Scissor Sisters? I think I know now why she's alone -- she's lost her damn mind!

Just kidding. Isn't it funny though? I'm often amazed how bigoted I am. Here I am telling Ant not to judge someone because he's ugly and uncoordinated, and I HATE people for their musical taste. That's right, HATE...Antoinette excluded.

So I suppose the moral of this random tidbit is to not judge lest ye be judged...even though it may be very tempting to denigrate a stranger who has terrible playlist construction skills. Oh, and listen to more Elvis Costello. He's a good man.

done preaching,

Li-Wei

no words

It seems that all is lost.

How do you convince someone who has seemingly lost everything to look for the good in life again? All I want is to be home, to be with my family...with Alex. He needs us now more than ever, and there's no looking back. How did we go from Stanford to expulsion? More importantly, how did we miss the signs?

The blame game has started once again. Round after round of "my fault" has finally ended in tears and all-too-familiar "resolutions." Two years of peace and lessons of "use your words" were forgotten in an instant. Why did I go to school so far away?

It's the question on both Pop's and my mind. Was all this worth it? An expensive eduction in disillusion and creative insecurity? God bless my friends, but perhaps I should have stayed in the South with the fam. Maybe then I could have been there to tell him no, to stop him.

You know how in "It's a Wonderful Life," Jimmy Stewart is taken on a tour of what his world would have been like if he were never born? Well, I had a similar moment this evening. I went on a virtual tour - ok, stalking - of what life would have been like had I not come here. Family problems aside, I would have probably gone to Davidson...

And yeah. That would have been that. Film would have been swapped for economics, and loneliness would have been replaced with the one person who used to make everything better...and who now doesn't even remember to put me in his new cell phone. I found a recent photograph of him, and I can't believe how beautiful he is! He's so different now too. Well, who needs a life in love? I traded LOL for a vow of poverty, remember?

The saddest part is that I miss him...and "us" for that matter. And everything has changed. He's moved on and is kicking ass as captain of his team this year. He's travelled the world, and I'm stuck in the tundra...missing someone who doesn't even exist.

No regrets.

It's moments like these that shape who we are, right? Well, damnit, I'm tired of being shaped. I'm twenty-one, and I feel like I'm eighty. How much is one person supposed to take? As I look back on the past five years, I can't help but realize that this shit is just not getting any better or easier. Cancer, suicide, diabetes, near blindness, 3 deaths, rejection, multiple financial crises, and now expulsion -- what the FUCK?!? And as the icing on the cake, I have the flu.

Well, fuck it. I have to be on set in the morning. And guys, I really don't want to talk about this entry. So don't ask. This was just my general pissy rant to the world, and I'd prefer if we didn't have to address it. I'm fine. I promise.

year of the cock

xing nian kwai la
Originally uploaded by li-wei.

!!!Happy Lunar New Year, everyone!!!

The moon has completed its cycle once again, and Chinese civilization is now at year 4702. Take that and rewind it back, white people. *just kidding*

So in honor of the Year of the Rooster - wait, what did you THINK I meant by the title to this entry?! - I have decided to formulate a list of lunar resolutions. They are as follows:

1. Get a job.

2. Get over the LOL (for real).

3. Make Deans List.

4. Forgive A-Bei for leaving us.

5. Stop bickering with Antoinette.
It's better to just let her think she won/was right.

6. Lose weight...a lot. :)

7. Drink...a lot. ;)

8. See a matinee every Tuesday and remember WHY I became a film major to begin with...

9. Forgive Po-Po for what she cannot change.

10. BE ON TIME!

11. Not be afraid of being alone.

12. Look at the stars in Italy.

13. Not to give up on ever finding the l-word...

14. Go to bed before the sun rises.

15. Learn to punch (back).

-----------------------------------

So yeah, we'll see how long this lasts. Haha! I started with quite the oomph. I saw "Million Dollar Baby" by myselt tonight, AND I'm hittin the proverbial sack at an early 3:34am.

starting off the year right,

Li-Wei

what have I got to lose?

I started to write you a letter the other day
Didn’t know exactly what I was going to say
And at the last minute I threw it all away
'Cause I didn’t think you'd read it anyway
And I’m the kind of man whose glass is half full
But I’m a bit torn from the strings you pulled
And since I already felt a bit abused
I thought to myself

What have I got to lose?
'Cause I can’t fall much further down
And look what I’ve got to win
If you would only hear my heart

Yesterday I actually tried calling
But that was after six days and six nights of stalling
And I thought about everything that we’ve been through
All the different places that we went to
The times we hurt each other, sometimes we meant to
Trying to make up with flowers that I sent you
But now I’m at the crossroads and it’s time to choose
And I guess I just figured, what the hell...

What have I got to lose
'Cause I’ve already come this far
And look what I’ve got to win
If you would only search my heart and see what’s deep inside

Don’t want to go to sleep cause I don’t want to dream
I always wake up with tears it seems
Can’t blame it on you so it must be me
I’ll beg for forgiveness if that’s what I need to do

Cause I ain’t got nothing to lose
I’ve lost the one thing missing from my life
But look what i1ve got to win
If only I can get you to hear my heart
What have I got to lose
When all I’ve lost is the everything that I need
And look what I’ve got to win
If you’ll only listen, listen to my heart.

-- Blessid Union of Soul --

---------------------------------------------------------------

ever have that moment, where you thought - "FUCK IT. I'm just gonna go for it..." and you summoned all your courage and did what you've been terrified to do?

oh, yeah?

Well I haven't. I used my better judgment and decided to let a dead dog lie...even in light of "new information." Was it better to think he didn't love me at all? This gray area just has me more confused...and wondering if I gave up without ever trying. But then logic and cowardice kick in and all is well. Whatever. We both deserve better - someone better. I only hope he can come to see that too someday.

And if he doesn't, he always has my # to call...

;),

stoops 2

in search of Dennis Quaid

So, we just saw "In Good Company," and it will definitely be a memorable experience for two reasons: the film itself and, ironically, the company.

Now, this was by no means the BEST movie I've ever seen. Unlike the semi-comedic, romantic comedy I was expecting, I got a a film at odds with itself. It tried so hard not to be the saccharine tale of "love conquers all" and "Good Guy beats Corporate America/The Man" that it ended with no gratifying sense of resolution. No love, no glory. And damnit, I PAID a good $6 for my sugar-coated ending.

Nonetheless, I adored Dennis Quaid's character. I must finally concede to Jennifer. He truly is "damn sexy" (her words, not mine, mind you). His character was the prototypical Father-of-the-Year lead, yet it was the portrayal of the little intimacies of his marriage that really moved me. As I watched a sequence of him curling up to his wife, it suddenly struck me that despite all my protests, I do want that. All the kicking and screaming and condemnation of marriage has all been in vain. At the end of the day, I want someone to curl up next to...forever. Now finding that is a whole other issue, haha. I thought I had come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to get married, but once again, I was only fooling myself. Oh, well.

As for "the company," well - I haven't seen such irony or drama since Melrose Place went off the air. In an attempt to rid BFF of his pre-date jitters and to keep me from being batty and alone at home on a Friday night (all my other roommates apparently have lives - who knew!?!), we decided to go see the movie. And who did we encounter at the theater? BFF's new love interest and her ex-significant other. And to make it that much more savory, Alexis had to sit next to her sworn enemy. Can we say awkward?! Julie and I giggled in the glory of the inevitable drama that would ensue.

Instead, I got stuck with the awkward trio while Julie and Alexis bolted for the parking garage. Chickens. That's okay. I was rewarded for my brave social skills/saving BFF by having the WORST case of poo in a long time...oh, am I sharing too much? Well, suck it up. I've had a rough night, jackass.

here's to knowing all that you want, and that it's all you can't have,

Li-Wei
shitstorm at large